Jersey traffic is INSANE.

There are two reasons for this.

First of all, New Jersey is one of the primary homes to a traffic phenomenon known as the jughandle. (They may call these “cloverleaf” intersections elsewhere, but we Jerseyans know better.) Because traffic engineers sometimes choose to utilize jughandles and sometimes DON’T, our traffic patterns make no sense. Take this particular intersection at Rt-35(N-S) and Deal Rd(E-W), for example.

1. Traffic heading west can make a normal left or right turn at the traffic light from the corresponding lane. (Fig. 1)

2. Traffic heading east* must keep right, go THROUGH the intersection, and take a jughandle (bottom right circle-thing) in order to make a left; to make a right, it’s necessary to take the exit from the right lane (bottom left diagonal road) BEFORE the intersection and merge onto the south (downward) road. (Fig. 2)

3. Traffic heading north must take the one-way quadrant ramp (I’m making up names here, but it’s the bottom right diagonal road) from the right lane before the intersection NO MATTER WHICH WAY IT’S TURNING. The vehicle simply makes its left or right* turn a hundred feet east of the main intersection. (Fig. 3)

4. Traffic heading south must keep right, go THROUGH the intersection, and take a jughandle (bottom left circle-thing) in order to make a left*; to turn right, traffic can make a normal right turn (though not on red, a rule which does NOT apply to the west-bound normal right turns). (Fig. 4)

Note: in all figures, red = right turn, blue = left turn.
Fig. 1: Fig. 2:

Fig. 3: Fig. 4:

Locals are in the know about all these ridiculous patterns. So the second reason for crazy Jersey traffic is because the Bennies can’t figure any of it out and SCREW EVERYTHING UP.

* If you’re heading east and you think you’ve maneuvered past the intersection without a problem… a couple hundred feet down the road at the next light, the right lane suddenly turns into a right-turn-only lane without any warning, which leads to a whole ‘nother set of traffic problems.